A restart

My journalling prompt says I should unblock myself. Just write and see what comes out. That seems right about now. I’m feeling very blocked.

My brain is full of zoomies. My hyperfixation has shifted again. I spent a couple of months obsessing over playing and recording music. It’s fun. I love it and I really want to do that more. But it seems like when I find a new thing to fixate on the old thing gets buried and forgotten. That’s kind of interesting to me… Its not like I don’t want to do the old thing any more. I just… Don’t have time around the new thing. Even if it’s an old thing revisited. Like photography. God I love taking photos.

I mean… I feel like I’m leveling up with the revisited hyperfixations so I guess that’s something. But some of them are things that are good for my brain and self and wellness so to “lose” them to a new obsession is detrimental to my overall wellbeing. Journalling for instance?

I have a very er… vacant blog that I had been filling in regularly then abandoned because I “couldn’t find the time”. I think my perception is it takes up too much time because of my perfectionism. My need to revisit and tweak every single post. But maybe that’s not what it needs to be? Maybe it’s allowed to be perfectly imperfect? I mean. Fifteen to twenty minutes of just unloading. That can’t be hard right?

Maybe that’s a thing too? Maybe the time aspect is not as real as I think it is. Maybe I should be using a timer to figure out how long I spend doing things. I have one built into my phone using that app that I can’t remember the name of right now. That would allow me to set up “projects” and figure out how long I spend on each. Get an accurate idea of what “too long” is or “too hard”. Either way I think I need to work on this journalling habit. I KNOW it’s good for me.

I’ve started using Elisi for habit tracking and daily planning. It’s a magical tool which I’ll talk more about later. But for now it allows me to write journals on the fly, on my phone or my computer. Convenient. It will allow me to draft stuff before writing in Jetpack / WordPress and also allow me to write my personal stuff that doesn’t need to go on the actual blog.

Anyways. For now. Zoomies. What I REALLY need to do is find time to practice the art of mindfulness. Somehow. Any suggestions greatly appreciated! I don’t do well with the close your eyes and be in the moment kind of mindfulness – yet. I prefer something guided. I think that will stay the case until I can’t train my brain better. I definitely need to take time to switch off. Even if its just sitting and listening… To music, podcasts… Anything that means I can put my damn phone down.

And that’s the real trick isn’t it? The phone. So central to life but so destructive.

Maybe that’s tomorrow’s thought?

Unloaded.